24 X 40 INCHES
We all make mistakes. We all struggle to find the answers through hard learned lessons. We have all had to swallow our pride and say “I am sorry.” But what we hope for most is that we get as many opportunities to wake up each morning to “make another go at getting it right.” Wether it be a failed relationship, a spoken unkind word to a friend, or even a lie to yourself, we all need to be less hard on ourselves and give permission to be brave enough to try again. The worst gift we can give ourselves is giving up and not accepting the fact that we all make mistakes. To not rise each morning with the attitude that we are being granted the miracle of a new beginning is doing ourselves the highest of dishonours. This concept is largely reflected in the fact that most of my paintings are often comprised of layers upon layers of previously failed paintings and I am in awe of my tenacity as I always find a way to ignore the voices in my head that say, “it’s never going to be good enough,” or “nobody is ever going to like this.” Despite the unnerving desire to have my art accepted and appreciated by others as I creatively lay down my soul on canvas, for some reason I find it so much easier to keep picking up a paint brush to try again more than I give myself permission to not get everything else right the first time in my personal life. I recently encountered a situation where I wasn’t allowing myself to feel the jealousy I was manifesting deep inside. Jealousy is not an emotion that I am familiar with and I have never wanted to be “that person.” After a week of lying to myself I finally realized I was doing myself a disservice by not allowing myself to just feel and authorizing my uncharted emotions to display themselves as impatience, frustration and annoyance with others in my life. I have worked so hard over the years to become more aware of my emotions and realizing that I had failed miserably in this instance rendered even more frustration, annoyance and impatience, but this time with myself. It wasn’t until I came home to paint that I began to accept the fact that I wasn’t forgiving myself for making a mistake and not realizing that I had the opportunity to make it right. “CACHEN” 24×40 evolved as I remembered my own advice: For every day we wake up, we are given the chance to do better, to love harder, to make new connections, to right our wrongs, to put another layer on the canvas. Recognize the strength it takes to simply think about it and be kind to yourself as you take the journey of second chances.